ZomBytes

I know, I know

2006-10-26T12:05:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile. I've...uh...had a headache. Yeah, that's it.

All of the Manor gang has been pretty lax on the blogging lately, though, so don't go pointing fingers at me! I'll eat 'em! I mean it!

Fall is a big deal around here. We've been playing outside. Lots of stuff going on that just needs a little sorting out, then I promise ~~not to cum in your mouth~~ that we'll be right back on top where we've always been!

But I like being on the bottom sometimes, too.

Life is Tough

2006-09-10T10:40:00.000-05:00

Even for the Dead. Today I met the challenge of obtaining coffee and breakfast food-type-stuff from our local Big Yellow fast food place. (After all the copyright discussions lately, I don't even want to mention any names.) I'd been out all night, I was on my way home with a haul, and I just wanted something that didn't taste like grave dirt and I didn't want to argue about it.

The teenageer was running the place by herself. She seriously looked more vacant than anyone in the back of my hearse, so I gave her my order using small words. And she...just...stared. And stared. I repeated myself, a little louder and slower (sometimes that helps), but all that happened was her eyes got a little wider and she finally said, "Oh - my - god - he's - dead."

Great.

Of course there's no one else in the restaurant. Dealing with the Teeming Masses is bad. Trying to get the Sleepers to do anything is always a trick. Negotiating a sandwich and coffee with a teenage sleeper who's probably one of the masses even when she's awake? Forget it. Especially since she's now at the back of the kitchen screaming and trying to reach the mop. (Don't ask -- must be symbolic.)

Good thing that everything I wanted was pre-made, and just needed a good hot dose of microwave energy. I hopped the counter, got my stuff, threw money on the counter (yes! Zombies have money!) and left. Last I saw, she was beating at the locked back door (the one right next to the open window) in a futile attempt to escape the fearsome undead horde.

The fun part was going around back and opening the door for her from the outside.

...well of course I ate her! What would you do? Those sandwiches are crap anyway.

Fun on the Highway

2006-08-25T18:54:00.000-05:00

My roommates (all 42 of 'em) and I sometimes get it into our heads that we all need to go somewhere at once, together. At these times it is most convenient to ride the "House Bus". (No, it's not short.) I'm not saying everyone LIKES to do this, just that it's more convenient than trying to caravan and hope everyone keeps up and no one blows a tie-rod or gets a flat or has to go to the bathroom or gets lost or needs a pop...you get the idea.

So next week we're going to Cedar Point. Yep, the whole lot of us. We'll keep tabs on who spews first and you bet that information will be all over the forum. We'll be taking the bus. Good thing we've got three young kids in the house, or else we'd never be able to keep up on all the great new road tunes. We might even have to resort to listening to the radio! "Eensy Weensy Spider"?! Gimme a break! I'll accept nothing less than an Arabian Desert Camel Spider. This bugger crawls up the water...tank.

I think these trips are supposed to be some kind of bonding experience. Like the time Medoc ate three or four Taco Bell burritos right before a five hour bus drive in January. We almost bonded him to the hood for the whole ride.

So next week should be fun. We'll see if we can't get some pictures. My favorite ride used to be the DemonDrop, but now it's the beer tent.

Wonderful

2006-08-05T21:08:00.000-05:00

Guess who's got a camera phone?
Well, just about everyone, I suppose.
But guess who's got one and shares the basement with me?

Well, that's fine. That's just fine. I'll bide my time. AND we're getting the webcams set up at home...vengeance will be mine.

Things to do in the lab

2006-06-23T20:44:00.000-05:00

Saturday night at the Manor and here's Ian and me, hiding out in the lab! We've got gene sequencing to do, and a case or twelve of Olympia, and we're not coming' out! No way! We can survive in here for MONTHS if we have to!

Just as soon as I go grab the rest of the chinese take-out from downstairs. Be right back, hang on.

Ok! NOW we can survive for months if we have to! I actually don't need to eat as much as Ian does, so he can have my won-tons, they're all flubbery now anyway. Yak. Also he can have those things that look like rubber bands, I don't like them after they've been sitting.

So yeah! We've got beer, and Doritos, and the Internet, and a gallon of almost-fresh moo goo gai pan. We're set for quite awhile. Hell, it's DANGEROUS out there! Did you SEE that skateboard lying in the driveway? That's a deathtrap waiting to happen!

Ian's telling me that it already happened. Well, oh-KAY, then, see what I mean? Skateboard! Deathtrap! Dangerous as hell! We'll be in here with these pea-pods, making sure Mendel did it right. (I think I heard somewhere that you can smoke these things. I'm almost sure of it. Someone try it and let me know.)

Before I get sued, let me assure you that that last statement was a JOKE! DON'T SMOKE PEA-PODS! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! DROP THAT PEA POD! DROP IT! DROP IT!!!

I don't know WHAT all that noise is out in the hallway, but I bet it has something to do with something really noisy. I think we should get pith helmets, you know, to go with this whole survival theme.

Then we'd be pithed off! With our peas! Ha! Get it?

Woah! Hey! Come back here, blog!

2006-06-10T20:43:00.000-05:00

It is NOT almost a month since my last post! Wasn't I just researching the maggots last week?

Geez, but this thing gets away from me.

I guess I'd better get on the ball...though, last I knew, the only time I could stay balanced on the ball was after half a bottle of tequila. Don't ask me to do that again.

Don't know about you, but everyone here had a great First-Annual Satan Day on 6/6/6. We grilled out, of course, but that was lunch, and by dinner there wasn't much left except for a few odd pieces that no one could identify. They were delicious, but definitely not enough to go around, especially after I ate them all, so the whole Manor took off in the bus (yes, the damned HOUSE-BUS) for KFC. They love us there. Talk about unidentifiable pieces...what WAS that in my mashed potatos? Whatever, it was still stuck to the restaurant window last I looked. Huh. I'm betting it will be there 'till NEXT Satan Day.

Now -- who wants to donate their body to science? I'm almost out of specimens. You'll get a freeeeee loooollliiiipop........

FDA Approval!

2006-05-12T21:40:00.000-05:00

...Like I ever let that stop me before.

This is for all of you who think I'm just trying to be gross. See?? There's a good reason why I keep buckets of these around!

Be sure to enlarge the photos at the bottom.

You might want to get up and get something to eat first.

Not Even as Tourists?

2006-05-10T13:32:00.000-05:00

Humph.

Big Fun

2006-05-05T06:05:00.000-05:00

You may have noticed that we here at the Manor aren't exactly keeping up on our blog postings lately. Wanna know why? 'Cause we're all busy messing around in our new house forum! This is the coolest thing. Now we can insult one another and discuss all kinds of disreputable subject matter...without ever leaving our rooms! My god, but technology is wonderful.

Anyway.

Also it looks like we're going to be building a pool in the backyard this summer. Actually, it looks like UncT is going to be building it, and the rest of us are going to stand around getting in his way...I mean, "helping". And drinking beer. Nilly will be glad to have a bona-fide reason for digging up the backyard with his backhoe. I wonder what we'll find buried out there? Last time we dug a significant hole in the yard, we came up with dinosaur bones from which we got our dear Archie. And one never knows what else is lurking below the soil...I don't think I left any surprises...

So, yeah. No really big things going down for me to write about in here lately, but I figured I should probably update. It's been awhile. I'll go pester the others to do theirs, too.

Oh! Oh, I almost forgot...we figured out the graphics program, and YES, there will soon be PICTURES. We won't be these indistinguishable digital text blips on your screen! You'll be able to SEE us! Won't that be nice? Or at least...different?

Those Guys in Suits

2006-04-07T05:34:00.000-05:00

So I just read about how the President is at an all-time low popularity rating.

Don't worry, this isn't going to become one of those political-blogs where you have to read and understand a bunch of stuff before you get to my post. Wouldn't want that.

No, I was just thinking about it -- every President starts out great, everyone likes him (or her, soon enough), and those who don't are having a really good time deriding the whole election process. Then as time passes, shit happens -- he (or she) actually has to do the job, and then suddenly everyone starts to get all pissy 'cause the election's looooong over and they have to actually live with the monstrosity in the office.

So why don't you start an actual "Government by the People"? Everytime a decision needs to be made, you run it like jury duty: pick some random shmoe, truck everything over to her (or his) house, and let them figure out what to do.

Unemployment is soaring? Hey -- if you're bored, I'll give you something to do.
War in the Middle East?! At least they're not in here tearing up the living room.
Germ warfare? Pffffft. You should see what's in the back of the fridge.

Just an idea.

Yeah, We Bad...

2006-03-30T04:07:00.000-05:00

We are so all over the 'net.

Check out the Complex Manor site. It's a lot more done than it used to be. Oh, while you're there, click the "Forum" link.

Yep.

We got a forum. (Thanks, Jymi and Qwite!)

Nothin' can stop us now.

Except for when we pass out; that usually stops us for a little while.

Spring Sprung..sprang...sproink...and stuff.

2006-03-15T14:18:00.000-05:00

Anyone ever notice that the ground gets all soft and mushy this time of year? Nice, isn't it? But there are disadvantages. I'm as glad as anyone that the frozen ground is warming up, but the wet ground is a lot messier, too. Just ask anyone who's had to exhume 13 bodies this week. You have to be reeeeeal careful not to track that all over the carpet, especially after all the rain we've had here lately. The wood warps, everything gets all gooey. Who knows what's on your shoes?

In other news, judging from the noise outside and the crap landing by my window here, I think it's "Launch Things Off The Roof" day. There went a...huh, who would have thought that marital aids would fly so well? Whoops! Who's was that, anyway?

Happy March 2

2006-03-02T14:26:00.000-05:00

Wow, this is depressing...it's been how long since I put anything up here? Sheesh. And I was getting so good at making links!

I think time flows a little differently where I live. Everytime I check in somewhere else, things seem all screwy.

Hey! We finally got some Grimagix-related video up! And when I say "we", I mean "Jymi". And no, I'm not in any of these. (Though if you look reeeeal quick you'll see my name in the credits a couple of times!) Next round, though -- the Complex Manor Players will be taking over your screen.

In the meantime, today is our annual "No-Special-Reason-Party-on-March-2" party, and it's been decided that we're definitely going to have bar-b-que REGARDLESS of whatever the goddamn weather is doing, so I'm going out there to help watch the grill before Zimozas sets the back patio on fire. Again.

Yuk

2005-12-22T12:09:00.000-05:00

Just what the undead need. Our own brand of junk food.

Okay, it may have some redeeming nutritional value, but not much. If you've got immature zombies running around your home, I wouldn't recommend feeding this to them all the time. It...ah...leaves something to be desired, and when they're hungry again at two in the morning, don't say I didn't warn you.

...and everybody opposed, say...

2005-12-02T20:58:00.000-05:00

All right now. Listen. I don't want to hear ONE MORE WORD about zombies and/or necrophilia being "sick and wrong". Not when there's THIS.

YA GOT THAT?!?!

Glad the horse is okay.

And WHILE I was reading the blog of the guy who's title I accidentally tried to steal...

2005-11-15T12:57:00.000-05:00

...I came across this tender little gobbet, which only fuels my suspicion that, not only is there nothing new under the sun, but that I didn't even get out of the grave in time for leftovers.

(For those of you who don't have the website memorized, and thus have no idea what I'm whining about,look on this page, under "Food and the Digestive Process.")

YES, I'm STILL HERE

2005-11-06T22:49:00.000-05:00

Sorry. October is always a busy month around here. I think I almost have all the Halloween decorations and guests (can't tell the difference sometimes) rounded up and contained safely in the biohazard areas. Stay tuned.

Oh, and the giant squid finally set off for deeper waters, and we have our own lovable Nilly Rambus back. Thank god for that.

In My Own Words

2005-10-05T22:12:00.000-05:00

So that this doesn't turn into one of those "look what I found elsewhere on the net" blogs. I'm trying to keep this up to date, since I know you're all (both of you) atwitter with excitement everytime you get a Manor/Grimagix fix.

Halloween is almost here. The Manor will be ready for it. Come to think of it, we're ready for it just about every other day, too. The kids keep asking me to dress as SpongeBob, but I think Vince has that one covered. (Thank god.) This is my dilemma every year: what does a zombie dress as for Halloween? Everyone always expects me to be something totally creepy -- but (at least according to some people) that's what I am every day. Give me one damn day to be a superhero or a pirate or something else, please. So this year I think I'm going as...Bond. James Bond.

Now why do you suppose he always introduces himself like that? It's not as if people are going to wonder what his first name is. "Hello, I'm Bond -- no, James is my cousin -- I'm Bond, Larry Bond."

I think that's enough tangents for now. I've got to start getting my costume ready --yep, gonna go varnish my hair. Now all I need is a Bad Guy!

Real Life Norman Bates

2005-10-05T22:10:00.000-05:00

Without all the murdering and stuff, that is. Read this. (I got it from Dave Barry's blog.) Now that's a devoted son. Good boy.

I Concur

2005-10-03T08:23:00.000-05:00

This is an old post of Maddox's, but I figured it was worth repeating.

I...Um...Hmmmm. Ducks.

2005-09-21T11:22:00.000-05:00

This song says it better than I ever could. Play it while you read the linked article below.

I'll admit that necrophilia may seem strange to people who don't understand it (or don't realize that zombies have feelings too). But even I'm not sure what to say about this.

Ducks? The sweet feathery quack-quack waddley birds that play so nicely in the fountain in the back yard?

Who knew?

Weeellllll it's about time for another post...

2005-09-17T19:20:00.000-05:00

And I'm sure I'll be able to think of something interesting to say, if I just keep typing. If you're checking my site for the new material -- you know, the stuff listed in "Coming Soon" -- first of all, thanks for being so interested. Second of all, I've been a little busy, so sorry about the wait. (Note to self: Learn what "multi-tasking" means.)

I'm not the type to bitch about the weather, but it's starting to get a little chilly around here. Autumn is definitely on its way. I can feel it in my bones...and my muscle tissue, and all the little ligaments and tendons...man, I hate winter. It really plays hell with the undead physique. Luckily for me, Jymi got me another set of electric socks! Those are the best damned things ever invented. Whoever thought that up needs to get a Nobel prize or something. Now I need electric skivvies, too...oh. Wait. That might not be so good. Never mind.

It's been a generally good week around the Manor. No one's terribly upset with anyone else (at least not any more than usual), no one's had their bed short-sheeted or had itching powder dumped in their dressers, and there's been only one mystery vomit smell. All in all, business as usual. I think everyone is pretty intent on getting this online thing going. I know, it doesn't look like much from where you're sitting. And I'm not going to keep talking about all the cool stuff that's "gonna" happen. It's just exciting to watch it coming together. You will get to see it when there's more meat on the skeleton...speaking of which, I wonder if there's anything good for dinner upstairs?

Know what I did?

2005-09-15T15:42:00.000-05:00

I just fixed the graphic at the top.
Yep, I did. The filename was wrong. It wasn't showing up.
Figured it out all by myself. Yep. Feelin' pretty clever.

Now it's Miller Time.

No, wait -- I don't drink that swill.

Now it's...it's...BOILERMAKER TIME!!!

Thus endeth the coherence for today.

That Crazy Nilly Rambus!

2005-09-03T20:53:00.000-05:00

You know, he got yelled at so much, I kinda feel sorry for him. But I bet I wouldn't be feeling so charitable if it was me who sat in the Crisco.

(Don't tell Ian I said this, but it was pretty funny.)

Big Fun

2005-09-02T10:24:00.000-05:00

It's the usual uproar here at my house... Except this time, the whole city has the fever -- there's a mass movement here in Grimagix to establish an online presence. You may not be able to see much from your perspective yet, but there's more work going on than a highway construction zone, and the traffic congestion is just as bad.

We've got about 30 people in this house, and everyone is all fired up about getting domains and blogs and learning how to deal with HTML. I swear, it's like some of us thought that all those nifty pages on the 'net were put there by magical gnomes or something. "You mean I can put my own picture up here? And make it say whatever I want? Oooooh!!!! Gimme another beer!"

I myself have just learned how to write code for a link.

So keep an eye on this blogring. (See? Net lingo! I think I'm getting the hang of this.) It's a bit of a bottleneck at the moment, but more stuff will be seeping through all the time.

There. Now quit playing around, and go lend a hand. Go on, you can wait another week to buy that video game. For Gods' sake, the people down there need help.

Shhhhhh

2005-08-26T05:50:00.000-05:00

Nice thing about being dead...I don't have to sleep as much as most living people. So at 6:30 in the morning, I've got the kitchen all to myself. Everyone's holed away upstairs passed out in their rooms (or on the floor, for some of the less foresightful among us). Just me, the laptop, and the coffee urn... it's so peaceful here now, you'd never guess at the mayhem that was going on last night.
In the early morning, when everything's so quiet and serene, with the sunbeams peeking through the windows illuminating the dust motes, and the birds outside, this house is a mind-blowingly idyllic , peaceful estate. A little chunk of what the Creator might have envisioned as paradise.

I think I'll hide a severed head in the microwave.

I Got It Up!!

2005-08-22T15:19:00.000-05:00

...er, the website, that is.

Sick and Wrong?

2005-08-22T09:50:00.000-05:00

Sick and wrong, he says. Sick and wrong. I'm just trying to bring a little compassion, understanding and discovery to the relationship between the living and the undead. I'm trying to get everyone to calm down and listen to each other. I'm promoting EDUCATION, fer chrissakes. And what happens? I get persecuted.
Sigh.
I happen to know the writer of that comment personally, and he's a nice guy. He's just trying to prepare his readers for something that might upset their toast and jelly. I don't blame him. But that attitude is exactly the reason why I started this project in the first place.
How would you like it if everytime you met someone new, their first reaction to you was, "Eeeeeew!" or my favorite, "KILL IT! KILL IT! SHOOT IT IN THE HEAD!"
(Which, incidentally, doesn't work. It just hurts and pisses us off.)
Anyway, thanks for the links, Drew. Pleasant dreams.

The Blog that Would Not Die

2005-08-21T20:05:00.000-05:00

...or something like that. We'll see how far this goes. I usually keep my journal on paper and then lose it.

But in case anyone is wondering, the website will be up in a couple weeks or so. (See the great big graphic up there? That goes to the website. So does the link over on the side. I've got an awful lot of links for a site that isn't up yet, don't I?)

Now I'm going to stop fiddling with this and go work on the website. Really, I promise.